why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
