16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
