mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
you inspire me to be a worse person
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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