Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
