i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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