problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
