I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
