They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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