Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
