her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
