We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
