HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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