U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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