When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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