As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
