i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
i need some magic done to my vagina
Randomize
