I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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