So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
