Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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