Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
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