You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
