Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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