I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
