at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
