It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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