when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize