I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
