Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The feeling are messing with the penis
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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