idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
