Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize
