The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
