i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
