Can i not drive my cunt home
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
