It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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