We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Randomize
