the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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