I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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