i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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