I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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