I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
