closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
