After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
what day is it and did you see me today?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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