I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
