I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
