Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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