Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
