They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
