is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
The adults are the big ones right?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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