I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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