it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
