Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
