If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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