You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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