she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
