i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
