I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
